Wow - can't believe we are getting married in 6 days!! This morning, we cooked in for some home-made frittata and reminisced about the good old days when we had time to just sit around and relax. Yup - life has been pretty insane, but it's all going to be worth it. We are totally looking forward to seeing all of our friends and families who are coming into town for our big day!! And off to Portugal we go the Monday after our wedding!! Let us know if you want us to bring you back some port wine from Portugal! :)
Hope to see you out on Friday (8.7) night for some pre-wedding wine at The District in San Francisco!!
xoxo,
m&a
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Bachelor party vs. Bachelorette party
Mark is away this weekend at his bachelor party with his posse in Chicago. I hope he is having some good fun esp. since how hard he has been working and helping out with wedding planning! Like I told him and his friends, "Have a blast and get it out of your system! What happens in Chi-Town stays in Chi-Town." :b
It occurred to me some time ago that my philosophy on bachelor parties isn't shared by many other women. Also, men and women seem to have different perceptions of the respective gender's bye-bye-singlehood party. For example, how many times have you heard of brides getting upset at the groom for misbehavin' at the bachelor party? I seem to have heard quite a few, which is unfortunate. On the other hand, I don't think I have ever heard of grooms getting into fights with brides because of what they have done at the bachelorette party.
OK, so I am a sample size of one, but as I talk to friends and gather my information, it seems that guys do in fact get into trouble more than girls do with their significant others post these parties.
So, say this phenomenon is true, let's diagnose why this may be happening:
1. Men do crazy things (e.g. where scantily clad women may be involved) more so than women do at bachelor/bachelorette parties.
2. Men in close contact with other women (e.g. lap dancing) is considered unacceptable but women being in close contact with other men is not.
3. Women get upset at men more than men do with women.
I actually think that all three of these are possibilities and probably work together to result in the "phenomenon" explained above. With regards to point #1 above, as society agrees that guys tend to be more physical vs. women being emotional, it makes sense to me that there would be more "meat on display" at a men's party vs. women's party. As for #2, related to #1, my assumption is that there is a belief held by some that when men are in close contact with other women, more things can go wrong, whereas with a woman being in close contact with other men (e.g. lap dancer), there is more embarrassment and laughter as opposed to "what may happen...". As for #3, I hate to admit it, but it's probably true that women get mad at men more than men at women. Of course this is a generalization, but since women tend to nag more than men, I get the feeling that ends up translating to getting upset.
What does this all mean? As we continue the tradition of bachelor and bachelorette parties, how can we ensure that at the end of the day, more fun is had than fights taking place between the couple? Not that anyone is asking for my tips, but here is what I would think about:
1. Have fun! Parties are meant to be fun. Bachelor and bachelerette parties are a once-in-a-life-time thing where people of the opposite sex are involved. Let men be men and women be women so that fun can be had by all. And be appreciative of the work your bridal party has put into planning this gathering!
2. Gotta trust. Without trust, a marriage breaks down. I don't know what Mark is doing in Chicago (I don't think he did either before leaving), but I know that he is not going to do anything that he thinks would not be right to do or hurtful to me.
3. Give each other freedom. As two get together in a marriage, you are in each other's business a lot. It's ok to ask for personal space and not have to know everything that's happening in the other person's life. Guess that's related to the trust piece above.
Wow - I am starting to feel like "Dear Abby". Now, I can't wait to see what my girls have planned for me for my bachelorette party on July 11!! Looking forward to a fun weekend with the ladies (and scantily clad men - ha!)!!
It occurred to me some time ago that my philosophy on bachelor parties isn't shared by many other women. Also, men and women seem to have different perceptions of the respective gender's bye-bye-singlehood party. For example, how many times have you heard of brides getting upset at the groom for misbehavin' at the bachelor party? I seem to have heard quite a few, which is unfortunate. On the other hand, I don't think I have ever heard of grooms getting into fights with brides because of what they have done at the bachelorette party.
OK, so I am a sample size of one, but as I talk to friends and gather my information, it seems that guys do in fact get into trouble more than girls do with their significant others post these parties.
So, say this phenomenon is true, let's diagnose why this may be happening:
1. Men do crazy things (e.g. where scantily clad women may be involved) more so than women do at bachelor/bachelorette parties.
2. Men in close contact with other women (e.g. lap dancing) is considered unacceptable but women being in close contact with other men is not.
3. Women get upset at men more than men do with women.
I actually think that all three of these are possibilities and probably work together to result in the "phenomenon" explained above. With regards to point #1 above, as society agrees that guys tend to be more physical vs. women being emotional, it makes sense to me that there would be more "meat on display" at a men's party vs. women's party. As for #2, related to #1, my assumption is that there is a belief held by some that when men are in close contact with other women, more things can go wrong, whereas with a woman being in close contact with other men (e.g. lap dancer), there is more embarrassment and laughter as opposed to "what may happen...". As for #3, I hate to admit it, but it's probably true that women get mad at men more than men at women. Of course this is a generalization, but since women tend to nag more than men, I get the feeling that ends up translating to getting upset.
What does this all mean? As we continue the tradition of bachelor and bachelorette parties, how can we ensure that at the end of the day, more fun is had than fights taking place between the couple? Not that anyone is asking for my tips, but here is what I would think about:
1. Have fun! Parties are meant to be fun. Bachelor and bachelerette parties are a once-in-a-life-time thing where people of the opposite sex are involved. Let men be men and women be women so that fun can be had by all. And be appreciative of the work your bridal party has put into planning this gathering!
2. Gotta trust. Without trust, a marriage breaks down. I don't know what Mark is doing in Chicago (I don't think he did either before leaving), but I know that he is not going to do anything that he thinks would not be right to do or hurtful to me.
3. Give each other freedom. As two get together in a marriage, you are in each other's business a lot. It's ok to ask for personal space and not have to know everything that's happening in the other person's life. Guess that's related to the trust piece above.
Wow - I am starting to feel like "Dear Abby". Now, I can't wait to see what my girls have planned for me for my bachelorette party on July 11!! Looking forward to a fun weekend with the ladies (and scantily clad men - ha!)!!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Memorial Day wknd wedding planning?!?!
Mark and I decided to stay in town this Memorial Day weekend to make some progress on our wedding planning. And thus far, the weekend has turned into a weekend of eating... and relationship bonding, of course, over what else but our love for food. :)
Friday night: Checked out fancy French food served out of old taco truck.
Saturday: Ate our way through Bodega Bay, including amazing organic sourdough cheese bread and the best roasted chicken (served in truffle oil juis) and apple crisp.
Sunday: Started our day with delicious doughnuts of novel flavors, including bacon apple maple and chocolate rosemary almond.
Life is good. Happiness is when your stomach is satisfied (and you are with your loved one). :)
Friday night: Checked out fancy French food served out of old taco truck.
Saturday: Ate our way through Bodega Bay, including amazing organic sourdough cheese bread and the best roasted chicken (served in truffle oil juis) and apple crisp.
Sunday: Started our day with delicious doughnuts of novel flavors, including bacon apple maple and chocolate rosemary almond.
Life is good. Happiness is when your stomach is satisfied (and you are with your loved one). :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
What's happening now?
Some of you have been asking us how wedding planning is going and if we have any updates. Well, here they are!
1. We are eating. Doing lots of eating. One of the nice things about wedding planning is the tastings you get to do. I don't understand how to-be-brides can lose weight with all of the opportunities of eating.
2. I am trying to figure out what to do with the flowers. A trip to the San Francisco Flower Mart totally overwhelmed me. Yup. Plus I found these really strange feather balls..
3. We have excuses to go to Napa. Gotta get wine for the guests! Our last trip ended with us carrying 4 cases of wine back in our car trunk. :)
1. We are eating. Doing lots of eating. One of the nice things about wedding planning is the tastings you get to do. I don't understand how to-be-brides can lose weight with all of the opportunities of eating.
2. I am trying to figure out what to do with the flowers. A trip to the San Francisco Flower Mart totally overwhelmed me. Yup. Plus I found these really strange feather balls..
3. We have excuses to go to Napa. Gotta get wine for the guests! Our last trip ended with us carrying 4 cases of wine back in our car trunk. :)
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Wedding Planning Exposé!!!
Three more months to go till the big day - wow! I finally understand what people mean when they say "you can plan for a wedding as long as you want!" and which the advice of "so make the engagement period as short as it can be!" often follows.... Ah ha....
As I look back on my wedding planning experience, I realized that somewhere down the road, I have decided to keep a list of "Did you know's" (which will maybe one day go into my book titled Wedding Planning Exposé) as far as wedding planning is concerned to help all future brides. Yeah, think of it as the wedding industry's version of Fast Food Nation.
Here are some starters:
1. Who says it has to be white? Did you know that the tradition of the bride wearing a fancy white wedding gown to her wedding was the creation of Queen Victoria (see photo below of her wedding) back in 1840 to boost the textile industry in the UK??? Before then, it was very common to simply wear your favorite dress to your wedding. Just imagine - had it not been for her, Vera Wang probably would not be who she is right now!! And who knows - I probably would have been ok wearing a polka dot (my fave!!) patterned dress to my own wedding!
3. "Just add it to the registry!" Did you know that when you start a bridal registry, you are highly encouraged to add as many things to it as you can (the logic being that "you can always take it off")? While I don't have the facts on this, I would, again, bet $20 that a large portion of the money retailers in the registry business make is from the gifts on the registry that are NOT fulfilled by the guests. Now, instead of trying to get you into the store to do more shopping the rest of your life, they simply have to send you a 10% off coupon that applies to the unfulfilled items to get you to open up your wallet. I mean, we all want to save money, right?
The point is - I've realized that with wedding planning, as it is with many things in the world, when you ask "why?" you can sometimes be surprised by the answers you get. Sometimes, traditions are not what you think traditions are. Like I have always said, it always goes back to marketing...
As I look back on my wedding planning experience, I realized that somewhere down the road, I have decided to keep a list of "Did you know's" (which will maybe one day go into my book titled Wedding Planning Exposé) as far as wedding planning is concerned to help all future brides. Yeah, think of it as the wedding industry's version of Fast Food Nation.
Here are some starters:
1. Who says it has to be white? Did you know that the tradition of the bride wearing a fancy white wedding gown to her wedding was the creation of Queen Victoria (see photo below of her wedding) back in 1840 to boost the textile industry in the UK??? Before then, it was very common to simply wear your favorite dress to your wedding. Just imagine - had it not been for her, Vera Wang probably would not be who she is right now!! And who knows - I probably would have been ok wearing a polka dot (my fave!!) patterned dress to my own wedding!
3. "Just add it to the registry!" Did you know that when you start a bridal registry, you are highly encouraged to add as many things to it as you can (the logic being that "you can always take it off")? While I don't have the facts on this, I would, again, bet $20 that a large portion of the money retailers in the registry business make is from the gifts on the registry that are NOT fulfilled by the guests. Now, instead of trying to get you into the store to do more shopping the rest of your life, they simply have to send you a 10% off coupon that applies to the unfulfilled items to get you to open up your wallet. I mean, we all want to save money, right?
The point is - I've realized that with wedding planning, as it is with many things in the world, when you ask "why?" you can sometimes be surprised by the answers you get. Sometimes, traditions are not what you think traditions are. Like I have always said, it always goes back to marketing...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Meeting the extended family in motherland Taiwan!
Good genes live in the Hwang and Hsiao families. Mark and I just returned from Taiwan where we celebrated Mark's grandma's 100th birthday. Yup - 100!!! Pretty amazing! We also visited my grandma who is 93 and still has some black hair!! Yes, miracles do happen. :) It was great that we got to do what our friends have been calling "pre-wedding meet and greet" with all of our relatives in Taiwan. I think I met nearly 100 relatives from Mark's family - incredible! It's a good thing in the Chinses family, you only have to remember their role in the family tree (e.g. oldest aunt from mom's side, youngest uncle from dad's side) as opposed to actual names. Yes, the hierarchy helps one show respect! I am also glad that Mark got to meet my brother and family, including nephew Wesley in Taiwan finally! Can't wait for the big party gathering in August!!
Now back to being j..e..t..lagged!!! zzzzz.....
Now back to being j..e..t..lagged!!! zzzzz.....
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The ultimate shopping trip - a.k.a. wedding registry.
This whole wedding planning experience has been very interesting in many ways, one of which is the coming together of two very different cultures. Having grown up in Taiwan and moving to the US as a teenager, I grew up with very Chinese traditions. What Mark and I had envisioned for our wedding is one that blends our Chinese heritage with the Western traditions. Throughout this process, we learned that some things are definitely easier than others, which leads us to the dreaded registry experience vs. the Chinese tradition of red envelopes with monetary gifts inside.
Truth be told, given the size of our San Francisco apartment and our (hopeful) move to a house (if we can ever find a piece of property we are capable of buying that we like!), we can't imagine having even more boxes than we do today around us. It never ceases to amaze me how many "things" we own - since when has our lives become so supported by material goods? Guess it also doesn't help that I am some what of a pack rat, finding it hard to let go of old things with sentimental value.... In any case, all the more reason for us to follow the Chinese red envelope tradition.
We are mindful of the Western tradition of registry, however, and want to make sure that we provide our guests less familiar or comfortable with the Chinese red envelope tradition with some registry options. As a newly minted bride, for some reason, I have only heard of scary things about wedding registries (along the lines of "pain in the arse", " overwhelming!!!", etc.) Guess there was no way out of the scary registry experience after all! :)
Since Mark and I are headed to Hong Kong and Taiwan in less than a week, we figured we needed to crack the nut on the registry this weekend. Well, we all know how much Mark loves to shop... ;b NOT! Well, as it turned out, Mark hurt his big toe (we still have to look into what's going on when the doctor is available on Monday) and by Saturday morning, was immobile and has been on crutches ever since. Well, if Mark ever needed an excuse to get out of doing a registry, this was it. So, off to registering I went.
My first stop was at Bloomingdale's, given its convenient location to where we live and having heard from multiple other brides the great registry experience and the flexibility it offers. My intent was to have been there for one hour so I can hit up a couple of other stores - well, that is not the way things work with registering. Four hours later, I found my "registry consultant" telling me the importance of placemats and linens - these being the essential accents one must have multiple sets of to dramatically change the look of your table setting, without having to change the actual dishware. He convinced me that I needed one for the everyday, the fancy occasion, and then there is the holidays. I told him I was tired. By then, even my crutch-ridden fiance made his way to Bloomies to check in on me and rescue me from it all. Thank goodness for the Nespresso demo counter offering free coffee at Bloomies - I needed the caffeine boost major time.
Four and half hours later, we walked out of Bloomies with a "gift bag" filled with marketing material from every single manufacturer you can imagine and somewhat of a headache, but feeling good (at least we were told we should) about what we have"accomplished" on this ultimate shopping trip. I was happy to part with the scanner I had been walking around the store with zapping random items I wanted on the registry (I actually lost the scanner at one point). At the very least, we did very much like what we had picked out for our table setting. Whether we actually end up with those items or not, who knows, but at least we put a check mark next to that registry box.
For all the shopaholics out there, if you ever have the urge to shop, but don't have the money to buy, you may want to consider starting a registry (even if you are not engaged!)! Trust me, the registry experience will zap every desire to shop out of you. It's retail therapy in a twisted form.
Truth be told, given the size of our San Francisco apartment and our (hopeful) move to a house (if we can ever find a piece of property we are capable of buying that we like!), we can't imagine having even more boxes than we do today around us. It never ceases to amaze me how many "things" we own - since when has our lives become so supported by material goods? Guess it also doesn't help that I am some what of a pack rat, finding it hard to let go of old things with sentimental value.... In any case, all the more reason for us to follow the Chinese red envelope tradition.
We are mindful of the Western tradition of registry, however, and want to make sure that we provide our guests less familiar or comfortable with the Chinese red envelope tradition with some registry options. As a newly minted bride, for some reason, I have only heard of scary things about wedding registries (along the lines of "pain in the arse", " overwhelming!!!", etc.) Guess there was no way out of the scary registry experience after all! :)
Since Mark and I are headed to Hong Kong and Taiwan in less than a week, we figured we needed to crack the nut on the registry this weekend. Well, we all know how much Mark loves to shop... ;b NOT! Well, as it turned out, Mark hurt his big toe (we still have to look into what's going on when the doctor is available on Monday) and by Saturday morning, was immobile and has been on crutches ever since. Well, if Mark ever needed an excuse to get out of doing a registry, this was it. So, off to registering I went.
My first stop was at Bloomingdale's, given its convenient location to where we live and having heard from multiple other brides the great registry experience and the flexibility it offers. My intent was to have been there for one hour so I can hit up a couple of other stores - well, that is not the way things work with registering. Four hours later, I found my "registry consultant" telling me the importance of placemats and linens - these being the essential accents one must have multiple sets of to dramatically change the look of your table setting, without having to change the actual dishware. He convinced me that I needed one for the everyday, the fancy occasion, and then there is the holidays. I told him I was tired. By then, even my crutch-ridden fiance made his way to Bloomies to check in on me and rescue me from it all. Thank goodness for the Nespresso demo counter offering free coffee at Bloomies - I needed the caffeine boost major time.
Four and half hours later, we walked out of Bloomies with a "gift bag" filled with marketing material from every single manufacturer you can imagine and somewhat of a headache, but feeling good (at least we were told we should) about what we have"accomplished" on this ultimate shopping trip. I was happy to part with the scanner I had been walking around the store with zapping random items I wanted on the registry (I actually lost the scanner at one point). At the very least, we did very much like what we had picked out for our table setting. Whether we actually end up with those items or not, who knows, but at least we put a check mark next to that registry box.
For all the shopaholics out there, if you ever have the urge to shop, but don't have the money to buy, you may want to consider starting a registry (even if you are not engaged!)! Trust me, the registry experience will zap every desire to shop out of you. It's retail therapy in a twisted form.
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