Bachelor party vs. Bachelorette party

Mark is away this weekend at his bachelor party with his posse in Chicago. I hope he is having some good fun esp. since how hard he has been working and helping out with wedding planning! Like I told him and his friends, "Have a blast and get it out of your system! What happens in Chi-Town stays in Chi-Town." :b

It occurred to me some time ago that my philosophy on bachelor parties isn't shared by many other women. Also, men and women seem to have different perceptions of the respective gender's bye-bye-singlehood party. For example, how many times have you heard of brides getting upset at the groom for misbehavin' at the bachelor party? I seem to have heard quite a few, which is unfortunate. On the other hand, I don't think I have ever heard of grooms getting into fights with brides because of what they have done at the bachelorette party.

OK, so I am a sample size of one, but as I talk to friends and gather my information, it seems that guys do in fact get into trouble more than girls do with their significant others post these parties.

So, say this phenomenon is true, let's diagnose why this may be happening:

1. Men do crazy things (e.g. where scantily clad women may be involved) more so than women do at bachelor/bachelorette parties.

2. Men in close contact with other women (e.g. lap dancing) is considered unacceptable but women being in close contact with other men is not.

3. Women get upset at men more than men do with women.

I actually think that all three of these are possibilities and probably work together to result in the "phenomenon" explained above. With regards to point #1 above, as society agrees that guys tend to be more physical vs. women being emotional, it makes sense to me that there would be more "meat on display" at a men's party vs. women's party. As for #2, related to #1, my assumption is that there is a belief held by some that when men are in close contact with other women, more things can go wrong, whereas with a woman being in close contact with other men (e.g. lap dancer), there is more embarrassment and laughter as opposed to "what may happen...". As for #3, I hate to admit it, but it's probably true that women get mad at men more than men at women. Of course this is a generalization, but since women tend to nag more than men, I get the feeling that ends up translating to getting upset.

What does this all mean? As we continue the tradition of bachelor and bachelorette parties, how can we ensure that at the end of the day, more fun is had than fights taking place between the couple? Not that anyone is asking for my tips, but here is what I would think about:

1. Have fun! Parties are meant to be fun. Bachelor and bachelerette parties are a once-in-a-life-time thing where people of the opposite sex are involved. Let men be men and women be women so that fun can be had by all. And be appreciative of the work your bridal party has put into planning this gathering!

2. Gotta trust. Without trust, a marriage breaks down. I don't know what Mark is doing in Chicago (I don't think he did either before leaving), but I know that he is not going to do anything that he thinks would not be right to do or hurtful to me.

3. Give each other freedom. As two get together in a marriage, you are in each other's business a lot. It's ok to ask for personal space and not have to know everything that's happening in the other person's life. Guess that's related to the trust piece above.

Wow - I am starting to feel like "Dear Abby". Now, I can't wait to see what my girls have planned for me for my bachelorette party on July 11!! Looking forward to a fun weekend with the ladies (and scantily clad men - ha!)!!